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YES! COME ON!



RAIDEN IS PREPARED FOR BATTLE IN HIS TRENCHCOAT AND STILETTOS.

ALSO KNOWN AS "JACK," "JACK THE RIPPER," OR "THE WHITE DEVIL," OF METAL GEAR SOLID FAME. HE BEGAN HIS MILITARY CAREER AS A CHILD SOLDIER DURING THE LIBERIAN CIVIL WAR. KNOWN TO EAT GUNPOWDER DURING HIS YOUTH ON A DAILY BASIS. HE DID NOT ENJOY THIS.

RAIDEN IS THE WONDERFULLY BISHONEN (SOMETIMES MISTAKEN FOR A WOMAN) POSTER BOY FOR A SUCKTASTIC LIFE. HE IS FRIENDS WITH SNAKE AND OTACON, AND NOT MANY OTHERS. MAY COME OFF AS A CONFUSED, SOMEWHAT COLD INDIVIDUAL WHO IS CLEARLY UNWILLING TO DIVULGE MUCH OF HIS PERSONAL HISTORY.

DUE TO RECENT DEVELOPMENTS IN METAL GEAR SOLID 4, RAIDEN IS A CYBORG NINJA AS A RESULT OF HUMAN EXPERIMENTATION TO MANUFACTURE THE PERFECT SOLDIER. THE ONLY ORGANIC PARTS OF HIM ARE HIS HEAD AND HIS SPINE; THE REST OF HIS BODY (LOWER JAW DOWNWARDS) IS MADE ENTIRELY OF WIRES, METAL, PLASTICS AND VARIOUS MECHANICAL PARTS. HIS CYBORGNESS RESULTS IN MUCH LULS ABOUT HIS LACK OF POTENTIAL IN THE SACK, THOUGH ROSE CAN VOUCH FOR HIM QUITE WELL. HIS WEAPON OF CHOICE IS HIS HIGH-FREQUENCY BLADE OBTAINED DURING THE BIG SHELL INCIDENT IN 2009.

RAIDEN SHOUTING HIS FAMOUS BATTLE CRY OF "HAY WANT A KNIFE??"

RAIDEN HAS A TERRIBLE KNACK OF WHINING ABOUT HIS FEELINGS AND WOES. ALTHOUGH THIS WHINING IS, QUITE FRANKLY, JUSTIFIED, THIS DOES MAKE HIM AN EASY TARGET FOR TEASING BY HIS ADOPTED BROTHER-FIGURE SOLID SNAKE.

FAMOUS FOR GLAMOROUS HAIR TOSSES AND CARTWHEELING LIKE A NINJA. HE PRETENDS TO ENJOY VR TRAINING TO A RIDICULOUS EXTENT.

ROSE, VR TRAINING, CARTWHEELING, KILLING PEOPLE (HE DOESN'T LIKE TO ADMIT THIS), LIVING BY HIS OWN WILL, HIS FAMILY, CHILDREN, SWEET NINJA MOVES, HIS HIGH FREQUENCY BLADE, SNAKE

GUNPOWDER IN THE FOOD, SNAKE'S TEASING, LOSING AT LIFE, NOT KNOWING WHO HE IS, CONFUSION, HIS LACK OF ORGANIC BODY, RONON, HIS PAST

RAIDEN CAN CONQUER VR TRAINING MISSIONS AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT. HE CAN ALSO SPARKLE GLAMOROUSLY AT WILL AND HAS A FONDNESS FOR CARTWHEELING INTO ACTION. RAIDEN'S BEST TALENT OF ALL IS TO EPIC FAIL AT NEARLY EVERY TASK HE SETS HIS MIND TO... WHILE AT THE SAME TIME BEING COMPETENT.

• JACK WITH ROSE AND JOHN.
• ROSE IS THE WOMAN RAIDEN LOVES WITH ALL HIS HEART AND SOUL. SHE'S GORGEOUS AS FUCK. AIN'T HE LUCKY? THEY ARE PROBABLY THE SAPPIEST COUPLE EVER, BUT, LIKE EVERY COUPLE, THEY HIDE THEIR DEMONS AWAY WHERE THE PUBLIC CAN'T SEE THEM.
• "I LOVE YOU."
• "WAS SLEEPING WITH ME PART OF THE JOB, TOO?!"
• LITTLE JOHN. RAIDEN'S LITTLE BOY. HE WAS RELUCTANT TO START A FAMILY WITH HIS OWN IDENTITY CRISES GOING ON, BUT MISTAKES HAPPEN. 'NUFF SAID. LITTLE JOHN IS THE *OTHER* PERSON HE LOVES WITH ALL OF HIS HEART AND SOUL.
• "I'M NOT SCARED. I THINK YOU'RE COOL, KIND OF LIKE A COMIC BOOK SUPERHERO."

• SOLID SNAKE IS A MAN RAIDEN ADMIRES ABOVE ALL ELSE. AT THE SAME TIME, RAIDEN RECOGNIZES THAT HE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO BE AS MUCH OF A MAN AS SNAKE IS, THOUGH THIS DOESN'T STOP HIM FROM STRIVING TO EMULATE AND EXCEED SNAKE'S CAPABILITIES. SNAKE HAD RAIDEN'S BACK THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE MANHATTAN INCIDENT IN METAL GEAR SOLID 2, SO RAIDEN IS EXTREMELY GRATEFUL TO HIM AS A VALUABLE ALLY AND SOURCE OF SUPPORT. NOWADAYS, HE FEELS A TREMENDOUS BURDEN TO PROTECT SNAKE THE WAY SNAKE ONCE PROTECTED AND AIDED HIM, BUT THUS FAR, HE HAS FAILED AT SUCH A TASK.
  
• SNAKE IS, HAS BEEN, AND ALWAYS WILL BE RAIDEN'S CLOSEST FRIEND, THE ONE MAN HE TRUSTS ABOVE ALL ELSE. HE CAN ALSO TALK TO SNAKE ABOUT ... DAMN NEAR ANYTHING, AND THAT'S SOMETHING TRULY SPECIAL FOR A MAN WHO IS NOTORIOUS FOR HAVING DIFFICULTY OPENING UP TO OTHERS.
  
• WHAT THE HELL? I'M AN UNCLE?!
• "THAT LYING, MINCING, BACKSTABBING SON OF A..."
• "SNAKE IS DIFFERENT. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I'M NOT LIKE SNAKE. I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING."

• OTACON. LOL OTACON FIXES RAIDEN WHEN HE'S BROKE. RAIDEN BREAKS TOO OFTEN FOR HIS OWN GOOD. ON THE WHOLE, RAIDEN LIKES TO BE IN ONE PIECE, SO IT'S GREAT TO HAVE SUCH A NERDY GUY AROUND.
• YOU BROKE YOUR VOLUNTARY MOVEMENT MECHANISMS AGAIN?! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SO RECKLESS WITH THE MACHINERY?!
• "HEY OTACON, CAN YOU UPGRADE MY VR TRAINING TO INCLUDE MY HF BLADE? THANKS!"

• STEPHANIE. DESPITE ACCUSATIONS OF PEDOPHILIA, RAIDEN'S RELATIONSHIP WITH STEPHANIE IS ENTIRELY PLATONIC. HE PROTECTS HER WITH THE SAME FERVOR A FATHER WOULD A DAUGHTER, AND THOUGH HE'S VERY BAD AT IT, MAKES EVERY ATTEMPT TO KEEP HER CHEERY WHEN SHE IS DOWN.
  
• RAIDEN ONCE BAKED STEPHANIE A CAKE. HE MISTOOK TARTAR SAUCE AS CREAM OF TARTAR. THE CAKE WAS AN EPIC FAIL.
• IT'S OKAY! WE'LL MAKE A BETTER CAKE NEXT TIME!!
• "HEY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? WHAT'S WRONG?"

• BIG BOSS IS THE REALLY AWKWARD 'FOUNDING MEMBER' OF A REALLY AWKWARD AND SCREWED-UP FAMILY. RAIDEN DOESN'T QUITE KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH BIG BOSS. IN HIS VR TRAINING MISSIONS THAT SIMULATE THE OUTER HEAVEN AND ZANZIBAR LAND INCIDENTS, HE LEARNED THAT BIG BOSS IS THE ENEMY AND NOT A FRIEND. NOW THAT BIG BOSS ISN'T EXACTLY TRYING TO KILL ANYONE, BUT IS INSTEAD, FORMING (SOMEWHAT) HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS... WELL, IT'S DEFINITELY THROWN RAIDEN THROUGH A LOOP. RAIDEN REFUSES TO ACKNOWLEDGE BIG BOSS AS ANYTHING BUT 'BIG BOSS' OR 'JACK'... GRANDFATHER IS A LITTLE BIT TOO MUCH. FORTUNATELY, HE IS, ON THE WHOLE, RESPECTFUL AND POLITE TO THE LEGENDARY SOLDIER.
  
• UPDATE: AS OF THE SHOTA PLOT AND THE WEEK OF SNAKE'S "VACATION," BIG BOSS AND RAIDEN HAVE GROWN CLOSER AND TRULY RESPECT ONE ANOTHER AS TRUE SOLDIERS. RAIDEN APPRECIATES BIG BOSS'S HEARTFELT ADVICE AND ALWAYS VALUES THE SEASONED SOLDIER'S INPUT.
• UPDATE THE SECOND: THERE'S SOME INTERESTING TENSION BETWEEN BIG BOSS AND RAIDEN NOWADAYS. IT'S CLEAR THAT BIG BOSS DOESN'T PARTICULARLY CARE FOR RAIDEN, SO RAIDEN RETURNS THE SENTIMENTS IN KIND. HOWEVER, EVERY NOW AND THEN, THE OLDER SOLDIER WILL DO SOMETHING ... KIND OF NICE COMPLETELY OUT OF THE BLUE. IT'S PUZZLING. BUT AT THE VERY LEAST, RAIDEN CAN SEE SOLID SNAKE IN BIG BOSS, AND THAT DOES GIVE HIM A GOOD FEELING EVEN WHEN THEIR CORRESPONDENCES LOOK BAD.
  
• WHAT? WHO THE HELL IS SOLIDUS?
• "JACK, BE HONEST. DO YOU KNOW WHO WROTE 'I LIEK PENIS' ON MY FACE???"

• LOTTA HART MAKES SUCH DELICIOUS FOOD. HE HOPES LOTTA NEVER LEAVES; HE LIVES OFF HER FOOD, DAMN IT!
• THEY GENERALLY HAVE A PRETTY FRIENDLY WORKING RELATIONSHIP, BUT SOMETIMES THINGS GET AWKWARD. IN FACT, IF RAIDEN DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER, LOTTA KINDA SEEMS AFRAID OF HIM...
• 

• RENGE IS RAIDEN'S (AND EVERYONE ELSE'S) PERSONAL FANGIRL. SHE FRIGHTENS RAIDEN SEVERELY, ALTHOUGH HE DOES NOT THINK THIS MERITS ATTACKING HER OR OTHERWISE TREATING A TEENAGED GIRL UNFAIRLY. HE ATTEMPTS TO PUT UP WITH HER SHOCKING AND HORRIFYING ANTICS, BUT HAS A HARD TIME KEEPING A POKER FACE IN LIGHT OF HER FANFICTION SUGGESTIONS.
  
• NEOxRAIDEN IS MY NEW OTP! YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOOOOO MEANT FOR EACH OTHER OMG YOU BOTH HAVE TRENCHCOATS IT'S LIKE YOU'RE THE SAME PERSON!
• "OH. GOD. STAY AWAY FROM ME."

• IKE. RAIDEN IS SECRETLY JEALOUS OF IKE, BUT NOT BECAUSE HE WANTS SNAKE OR ANYTHING GAY LIKE THAT. ACTUALLY, HE'S JEALOUS OF IKE FOR THE SEEMINGLY PERFECT LIFE HE LEADS. IKE'S SIMPLE, HE'S RELATIVELY HAPPY, AND THE ONLY TRAGEDY HE'S TRULY EXPERIENCED IS THE DEATH OF HIS FATHER - WHICH, RAIDEN BELIEVES, IS NOTHING COMPARED TO THE OWN HORRORS HE'S FACED. HE'S JEALOUS OF IKE'S ATTENTION WITHIN THE FAMILY, AND, REALLY, EVERYTHING IKE'S ABOUT. AS A RESULT, RAIDEN USUALLY STANDS ASIDE AND HOLDS HIS TONGUE WHEN IT COMES TO THIS BOY. THEY DON'T REALLY HAVE A WORKING RELATIONSHIP AT ALL... HE'S JUST SOMEONE WHO SNAKE ASSOCIATES WITH, ANOTHER ONE OF SNAKE'S CLOSE FRIENDS. AND THEREFORE, RAIDEN WILL AWKWARDLY TOLERATE IKE.
  
• UPDATE: AFTER IKE RECOVERED HIS MEMORIES, RAIDEN STARTED TO SEE IKE AS A YOUNG SOLDIER. HE HAS A LOT MORE QUIET RESPECT FOR THE MAN THAN HE HAD EARLIER ON, EVEN IF THEY DON'T REALLY TALK TO EACH OTHER THAT MUCH.
• ........

• SHO MINAMIMOTO KILLED RAIDEN TWICE. IT STARTED UP HIS NIGHTMARE CYCLE AGAIN. ALSO, SHO JUST SEEMS TO HAVE IT OUT FOR RAIDEN; HE CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON SHO TO SHOW UP WHENEVER HE LEAST WANTS TO DEAL WITH HIM. ALSO, SINCE RAIDEN HAS LOST TWICE IN BATTLE AGAINST SHO SO FAR, HE IS COMPLETELY CLUELESS AS TO HOW TO HANDLE THE REAPER. IT'S DISCONCERTING.
  
• CRUNCH! I'LL ADD YOU TO THE HEAP, RADIAN!
• LULUBELL ATTACKED RAIDEN OUT OF THE BLUE ONE DAY. OBVIOUSLY HE TOOK THIS AS A CHALLENGE. SHE SKEWERED HIM A FEW TIMES AND NOW THEY ARE ENEMIES. HE ALSO DOESN'T LIKE HOW SHE HAS A NASTY HABIT OF TRANSFORMING INTO PEOPLE HE CARES ABOUT, NO SIR.
• 
• RONON DOES NOT TAKE RAIDEN SERIOUSLY. RAIDEN DOES NOT LIKE RONON AT ALL. THEY MAY BE HIDING DEEP-ROOTED SEXYTIEM FEELINGS FOR ONE ANOTHER, BUT NO ONE REALLY KNOWS.
• VR TRAINING ISN'T FUCKING REAL. YOU'RE NOT A REAL SOLDIER!
• "YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH FUCKING FIELD EXPERIENCE I'VE HAD. DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT ME!!!"
• ITSUKO. SHE'S FUCKING UNDERAGED. GET OUT OF MY BED AND GET RID OF THAT DAMN BOTTLE!!!
• ... CAN I JOIN IN?
• SHINKU. SHE'S KIND OF EVERYONES ENEMY WITH A FEW EXCEPTIONS. BUT THEY SEEM TO HAVE A PECULIARLY VIOLENT HISTORY.
• 
• VAMP. HE JUST SUCKS AND HE'S VERY PERSISTANT AT TRYING TO GET INTO RAIDEN'S PANTS. OH FUCKING CHRIST.
• YOU CAN'T BE THAT FABULOUS WITHOUT BEING AT LEAST A LITTLE BICURIOUS!
• SOLIDUS SNAKE. IT'S A LONG STORY. ALSO NOT A PART OF THE DRESSING ROOM.
• THE PATRIOTS. THIS GOES WITHOUT SAYING.

• EVERYONE ELSE IN THE DRESSING ROOM.
• IF RAIDEN DOES NOT KNOW YOU VERY WELL, HE WILL PROBABLY NOT TRUST YOU. AS A DISTRUSTFUL PERSON BY NATURE, HE TENDS TO STICK AROUND PEOPLE HE KNOWS HE CAN TRUST.

ANYTHING SNAKE USES, BUT HIS FAVORITE IS THE HIGH FREQUENCY BLADE.
RAIDEN'S GONNA SLICE YOU WATCH OUT!!!
KNIVES ARE JUST AS COOL.
GUNS ARE LESS SO, BUT HE STILL USES THEM IF NECESSARY.

• BECAME A CYBORG IN 2012 IN AREA 51 AS AN UNFORTUNATE RESULT OF BRUTAL TORTURE AND CRUEL HUMAN EXPERIMENTATION.
• IS A SUPER SECRET NINJA AGENT OF THE PARADISE LOST RESISTANCE IN EASTERN EUROPE.
• RAIDEN CANNOT COOK OR BAKE. HE USUALLY RELIES ON EATING OUT OR MILITARY RATIONS.
• HE'S A REALLY GOOD DANCER.
• HE IS FUCKING LIGHTNING. BEAT THAT.
• HIS ROOM LOOKS LIKE A PRISON CELL. RAIDEN DOESN'T HAVE A GOOD EYE FOR DECORATING.
• WEARS A THONG BENEATH HIS SNEAKING SUIT (WHEN NOT REVEALING HIS CYBORG MECHANICAL GOODNESS).
• HEELS ARE FOR STOMPING. PAINFULLY.
• HAS A WEAKNESS FOR HARD LIQUOR AND BEER, THOUGH HE WILL NOT ADMIT LIKING ALCOHOL A LITTLE TOO MUCH
• HAS SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED ABOUT 800 LEVELS IN VR TRAINING.
• ONE TIME, A GIANT PENIS MYSTERIOUSLY RIPPED HIM APART. ONLY SAILOR MARS KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT THIS.
• RAIDEN'S CODEC FREQUENCY IS 141.80. CONSEQUENTLY, THIS IS THE SAME FREQUENCY SOLID SNAKE HAD USED DURING THE MANHATTAN INCIDENT IN METAL GEAR SOLID 2.
• RAIDEN IS PLAYED BY LARI.