(not of splintered sunlight or kisses)

Michael: So what if we have to hand the homework in tomorrow, I don't feel like doing it, so I won't.

Jane: Mr Hodge won't be happy.

Michael: I'll just make up an excuse.

Elizabeth: You have the last 3 homeworks.

Cactus: But it's only P.E.

Jane: Yes, but ifyou don't do homework then you might not get entered for the exam and so won't be able to get the job you wanted. It's important to think of the future and not just the present. Do you want to be happy later in life.

Cactus: I'm a bloody pot plant aren't I? So don't talk to me about jobs and fings.

Jane: Craig, we just call you cactus because of your spikey hair.

Cactus: (pause) Craig's a funny name to give a woman.

Elizabeth: Yeah. (giggle gigle) Your mum must have wanted a boy (giggle giggle giggle).

Cactus: Yeah, but Elizabeth is a pretty weird name to give a bloke.

Elizabeth: I'm not a bloke!

Jane: I know Elizabeth isn't exactly the most feminine of girls but there's no need to say such things.

Craig/Cactus: Why?

Tanya: Eat Grazer you B*stard Elephant! F*cK YOU! (Elephant runs with Tanya in close pursuit)

Cactus: Oh, who was that?

Michael: Okay, Liz. Prove that you're female. I think you're male. Get your tackle out.

Elizabeth: How dare you! (picks up a baseball bat and smacks michael very hard with it)

Shoona: Wurf

Adel: Hi! Shut that dog up, it kept me awake last night.

Liz: (Gets out baseball bat and blats Shoona extremely hard over the head, totally smashing her head and brain. Shoona dies)

Jane: Liz, how could you be so cruel!?

Liz: Yeah! (Gets baseball bat and swings it at Jane. Jane ducks, rolls up to Liz and blats her agains the wall. Not that this is possible, but she did it anyway)

Adel: You bastard! (Adel gets out her rifle and shoots lots of holes in Liz) I may be cruel but I'm not that cruel.

Cactus: I think I'll have a go now. (headbutts liz with hair cut. She is impaled and blood spurts everywhere.) Spatula anyone?

Liz: Hah! I've committed blasphemy! I've raised from the dead! Hah! I'm undead! Bye I'm off to scare the Sh*t out of everyone!

God: OI!

Cactus: Ooo vas dat?

Demitri: I doo not nowe.

Shoona: Woof, where's that bitch that killed me.

Liz: Erm, here.

Marselle: Dmitri, let us but gettink out of here.

Shoona: Grr (pulls out 330 mm recoilless rifle, blows liz away)

Tanya: Can any of you tell me where that fucking elephant has gone?

God: No!

Robert Powell: Have you seen this new boat? It's really good.

Janine: Will you F*cking shut up about boats? (attacks Robert causing 7 points of damage))

Janine: I did not say that. Hello I am from Zarg.

Duncan: Oh Janine, love of my life, where art thou going?

Derek: Janine you are not from Zarg! It doesn't exist! Anyway this is getting far too silly so this is..

Janine: There is a Zarg so there.

THE END

By Derek, Duncan and a little bit by Janine.

From Doodle Book:Factorial of Infinity

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A good example how even the most innocuous of beginnings can end up in a total bloodbath when we were writing.

Nice guest appearances from Tanya and Marselle and Dmitri.