Mostly used on train journeys.

---

Please don't take my wife.
Please don't take France, or possibly Greece.
Please don't take her life.
Please do get off of my sleeves.
It may even have been portugal.

[This sounds like it was based on something I was singing in a dream, in which I was 'Unusually Ruthless' Reuban.]

---

RPG - Role Playing Games. Used to train troops.
APC - a PC. Used to train troops.

---

[Italics - Duncan, Bold - Derek, Normal - Alex]
Don't get up for breakfast
When she serves tar on toast.
There's nothing wrong with gardening
When you need your lover most.
There is no shell like an old shell
There's nothing wrong with walls
Sliding round a big round room
This song has become balls.

Oh and 20 years down the line
Oh Pain Oh Joy Oh Pain Oh Joy
My old man's a dustman
And he treats me like a toy.

Girl, Sir, Certainly you can.
And I just can't seem to get enough.
Just can't square in a wheelbarrow
Even the going gets tough.
Squeeze me, Hug me, Rotate me, Fold me.
Kill me, Thrill me, Kiss me, Hold me
Throw me, Bite me, Honk me, Parp me
Please release me, set me free

---

L@@K!! V. RARE MINT FACTORY SEALED OOP HTF WOW

Hey Sister Soul Sister
I'm gonna kill you Sister
Blow your brains out Sister
Splat them all over Sister

There once was a building, and another one. Of it.
They weren't very well constructed.
There once was another building,
it was shaped a pentagon... SUSPICIOUSLY.
Then one wall got smashed.

---

[The following was an attempt to think of film titles with numbers in them, in ascending order.]

A Force Of One, One Tough Bastard, One Armed Boxer
Two Days In The Valley, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
Three Amigos, 3 Men and a Baby, Three Ninjas, Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Four Weddings and a Funeral
Fifth Element
Sixth Day, Sixth Sense
Seven Samurai
Eight Heads in a Duffle Bag
Nine and a half Weeks, Ninth Gate
[Couldn't think of one for ten, although in retrospect the Dudly Moore film Ten would've done it.]
11th Hour
Twelve Angry Men, Twelth Night, 12 Monkeys
13th Warrior, 6 days and 7 nights, Friday the 13th, 13th Floor
Saturday the 14th, 7 Brides for 7 Brothers

[As you can see we ran out of steam. And examining IMDB later, discovered that the list could just go One, Two, Three, Four... all the way up to a film called Twenty-three or something.]