In the hope that other people might be as amusing as us, we were inviting guests into the Doodle Book. This one was someone called Tom who was on an IT course with Derek. As you can see it just didn't work

My Name is Tom
I'm small but, very tall
Clean-shaven but with a beard
Young around middle age
Very thin but overweight
I have blackish, blondish hair
But I'm bald
I have blue, brown, grey eyes
I live in England on Jupiter
I can't drive, but I'm a taxi driver
I'm unemployued working at Doncaster
II live in a house on the streets
I don't smoke because I can't quit
I like music but hate music
I'm quite normal but very insane
/\ /\ /\ /\ /\
accurate description

Derek Williams must die

Then Duncan's Parodying version follows

My Name is Duncan
I'm average height and light build and most of the time I have a fair bit of stubble
I'm young although I am wise for my age
I'm very thin, although I eat a lot, due to my weird metabolism
I have dark brown hair
I'm not bald
I have grey-blue eyes although to be fair they sometimes go a bit greenish
I live in Leeds in England
I can't drive, nor do I want to
I'm a student at the University of Leeds
I live in a flat, next to a busy street
I don't smoke and dislike people who do
I like some music and I hate some music
I'm normally insane. Except for when I'm not.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Accurate Description

I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours but I think that Tom's got a crap sense of humour

from the pink book of the Bowling Alley series